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Parmenion
Homosapien
United Kingdom
14676 Posts |
 Posted - 10 April 2008 : 3:31:43 PM
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Especially for those of you who have a dog and/or cat.....
A day in the life of a dog and a cat
The Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
The Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I
are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my
contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat
something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an
attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I
decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I
had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.
B4stards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I
was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard
that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must
learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of
my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must
try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is
obviously retarded.
The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the
guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My
captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated
cell, so he is safe.
For now.
Centurion Parmenion
LASCIATE OGNE SPERANZA, VOI CH'INTRATE
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AndyCanty
Homosapien
United Kingdom
6782 Posts |
Posted - 10 April 2008 : 5:10:23 PM
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LoL, superb!!!
_____________________________________
If all the worlds a stage?
Where's my script???
http://andycanty.blogspot.com/ |
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Gladius
Homosapien
United Kingdom
2145 Posts |
Posted - 11 April 2008 : 6:47:00 PM
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haha excellent!
Do, or do not. There is no 'try' - Yoda
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Coritanian
Homosapien
United Kingdom
2031 Posts |
Posted - 11 April 2008 : 10:50:43 PM
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It says it all, really.
So when the centurion and those with him, who were guarding Jesus, saw the earthquake and the things that had happened, they feared greatly, saying, “Truly this was the Son of God!”
Matthew 27:54 |
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