| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
Coritanian
Homosapien
United Kingdom
1858 Posts |
 Posted - 13 January 2008 : 7:45:58 PM
|
Here's what our collective minds have come up with so far. I hope it makes sense to someone!
Whenever I look at her hair, it looked back at me. How the eyes never stop sparkling and the breasts never emerge, they inflame base instincts in me. Desperately, "BANG" went all of her grenades. So what happened under the bridge when I wasn't born, and after all is said bridge explosions. "How", said Jack. "A Kilo of gelignite isn't a recommended Warren killer, it doesn't appear to go anywhere, so maybe it doesn't work. However, that doesn't mean that Warren knows what to do anyway. No, this explosion was fermented in Marmite. The result exceeded all records worldwide for the alcohol powered explosive ignited rapidly and enveloped everyone within the building".
 
So when the centurion and those with him, who were guarding Jesus, saw the earthquake and the things that had happened, they feared greatly, saying, “Truly this was the Son of God!”
Matthew 27:54
|
|
|
Gladius
Homosapien
United Kingdom
2123 Posts |
Posted - 13 January 2008 : 7:56:55 PM
|
| Yes, well one word is a bit harder because if one guy loses the plot then the whole thing goes wrong e.g "A Kilo of gelignite isn't a recommended Warren killer" |
 |
|
|
Ankhsy
Homosapien
United Kingdom
6986 Posts |
Posted - 14 January 2008 : 09:54:36 AM
|
Wow! Its a masterpiece. Someone should write music to it!!!
"We are Starfleet officers, weird is part of the job."
|
|
|
|
John Prigent
Homosapien
United Kingdom
8364 Posts |
Posted - 14 January 2008 : 1:11:14 PM
|
Plot? What plot, Gladius?
Cheers
John
Captain, Star Fleet
"to boldly split infinitives that no man (or woman) has split before" |
|
|
|
Gladius
Homosapien
United Kingdom
2123 Posts |
Posted - 14 January 2008 : 4:23:54 PM
|
| No plot, just an expression "loses the plot" i admit its a bit wrongly used in this context though. |
Edited by - Gladius on 14 January 2008 4:36:38 PM |
|
|
|
Gladius
Homosapien
United Kingdom
2123 Posts |
Posted - 17 January 2008 : 4:31:27 PM
|
Whenever I look at her hair, it looked back at me. How the eyes never stop sparkling and the breasts never emerge, they inflame base instincts in me. Desperately, "BANG" went all of her grenades. So what happened under the bridge when I wasn't born, and after all is said bridge explosions. "How", said Jack. "A Kilo of gelignite isn't a recommended Warren killer, it doesn't appear to go anywhere, so maybe it doesn't work. However, that doesn't mean that Warren knows what to do anyway. No, this explosion was fermented in Marmite. The result exceeded all records worldwide for the alcohol powered explosive ignited rapidly and enveloped everyone within the building".
After supper, everybody went home. The pub close at midnight, so what was the door doing ajar - who left it like that, maybe it was Rappy? He caught the birdflue and went crazy after trapping his head...
Well its improved abit since the last compilation!
|
|
|
|
Fast Paul
Ape
United Kingdom
898 Posts |
Posted - 29 January 2008 : 9:05:27 PM
|
How about we try and insert some truely ingenious polychromatic words that any language aficionado, would salivate over!!!
A Grizzly Bear can run 100 yards in 4.3 seconds...........................so don`t push it! |
|
|
|
Coritanian
Homosapien
United Kingdom
1858 Posts |
Posted - 29 January 2008 : 9:21:30 PM
|
In English please !
So when the centurion and those with him, who were guarding Jesus, saw the earthquake and the things that had happened, they feared greatly, saying, “Truly this was the Son of God!”
Matthew 27:54 |
|
|
|
John Prigent
Homosapien
United Kingdom
8364 Posts |
Posted - 29 January 2008 : 9:24:19 PM
|
Maybe you meant polysyllabic, Paul? OK, but only if they're spelt and punctuated correctly!
quote:
Originally posted by Fast Paul
How about we try and insert some truely ingenious polychromatic words that any language aficionado, would salivate over!!!
A Grizzly Bear can run 100 yards in 4.3 seconds...........................so don`t push it!
Cheers
John
Captain, Star Fleet
"to boldly split infinitives that no man (or woman) has split before" |
|
|
|
Fast Paul
Ape
United Kingdom
898 Posts |
Posted - 30 January 2008 : 6:04:40 PM
|
No I ment polychromatic meaning many coloured, but yours is better John!!
A Grizzly Bear can run 100 yards in 4.3 seconds...........................so don`t push it! |
|
|
|
John Prigent
Homosapien
United Kingdom
8364 Posts |
Posted - 30 January 2008 : 7:39:47 PM
|
I've heard of blue language, but not of any other colours. (grin)
Cheers
John
Captain, Star Fleet
"to boldly split infinitives that no man (or woman) has split before" |
|
|
|
Fast Paul
Ape
United Kingdom
898 Posts |
Posted - 30 January 2008 : 8:49:30 PM
|
your syllogism was phenomenal earlier John. (bigger grin)
A Grizzly Bear can run 100 yards in 4.3 seconds...........................so don`t push it! |
|
|
|
Coritanian
Homosapien
United Kingdom
1858 Posts |
Posted - 30 January 2008 : 9:39:38 PM
|
Ok, next installment.....
Whenever I look at her hair, it looked back at me. How the eyes never stop sparkling and the breasts never emerge, they inflame base instincts in me. Desperately, "BANG" went all of her grenades. So what happened under the bridge when I wasn't born, and after all is said bridge explosions. "How", said Jack. "A Kilo of gelignite isn't a recommended Warren killer, it doesn't appear to go anywhere, so maybe it doesn't work. However, that doesn't mean that Warren knows what to do anyway. No, this explosion was fermented in Marmite. The result exceeded all records worldwide for the alcohol powered explosive ignited rapidly and enveloped everyone within the building".
After supper, everybody went home. The pub closed at midnight, so what was the door doing ajar - who left it like that, maybe it was Rappy? He caught the birdflue and went crazy after trapping his head in the door after tripping over the pavement. A bruised and bloodied, forlorn Raptor decided to run into hospital then discovered that it was closed. He then went back to the the(?) pub for a large hammer but couldn't find a nail to fit so he used a chisel to chop into the side of the pub. Later he realised that somehow the improbability of breaking the laws was remote, however bending the truth is another thing entirely. So Rappy decided to raise the stakes and implement unilateral thinking. Rappy wasn't happy!
So when the centurion and those with him, who were guarding Jesus, saw the earthquake and the things that had happened, they feared greatly, saying, “Truly this was the Son of God!”
Matthew 27:54 |
|
|
|
Gladius
Homosapien
United Kingdom
2123 Posts |
Posted - 30 January 2008 : 9:41:22 PM
|
The second half is definantly an improvement however it tails off a bit at the end :)
The Impossible Is Now Possible |
|
|
|
Coritanian
Homosapien
United Kingdom
1858 Posts |
Posted - 30 January 2008 : 9:43:06 PM
|
Yeah, not sure what's going on with it but I'm happy to go along for the ride!
So when the centurion and those with him, who were guarding Jesus, saw the earthquake and the things that had happened, they feared greatly, saying, “Truly this was the Son of God!”
Matthew 27:54 |
|
|
|
Gladius
Homosapien
United Kingdom
2123 Posts |
Posted - 30 January 2008 : 9:44:15 PM
|
I think hes gona stab something, like that strange shape i just out in!
The Impossible Is Now Possible |
|
|
|
Coritanian
Homosapien
United Kingdom
1858 Posts |
Posted - 07 February 2008 : 9:11:20 PM
|
OK, here we go again...
Whenever I look at her hair, it looked back at me. How the eyes never stop sparkling and the breasts never emerge, they inflame base instincts in me. Desperately, "BANG" went all of her grenades. So what happened under the bridge when I wasn't born, and after all is said bridge explosions. "How", said Jack. "A Kilo of gelignite isn't a recommended Warren killer, it doesn't appear to go anywhere, so maybe it doesn't work. However, that doesn't mean that Warren knows what to do anyway. No, this explosion was fermented in Marmite. The result exceeded all records worldwide for the alcohol powered explosive ignited rapidly and enveloped everyone within the building".
After supper, everybody went home. The pub closed at midnight, so what was the door doing ajar - who left it like that, maybe it was Rappy? He caught the birdflue and went crazy after trapping his head in the door after tripping over the pavement. A bruised and bloodied, forlorn Raptor decided to run into hospital then discovered that it was closed. He then went back to the the(?) pub for a large hammer but couldn't find a nail to fit so he used a chisel to chop into the side of the pub. Later he realised that somehow the improbability of breaking the laws was remote, however bending the truth is another thing entirely. So Rappy decided to raise the stakes and implement unilateral thinking. Rappy wasn't happy!
Rappy was happily fiddling with his newly polished chisel when suddenly a strange noise came from nearby. He turned towards the direction of the sound. What was that shape moving swiftly towards him? It was roughly ten foot tall and extremely wide, with fluffy ears and had an extremely large head. Rappie then froze as the giant thing opened it's handbag and took out a Tazer. Rappy flinched and stepped on the end of a plank that was balancing on the edge of a vortex. The beast roared as it plunged into the widening chasm below. Rappy watched as the beast was pulled further down the vortex that had suddenly shrunk after teatime. Rappy couldn't help but feel some gratitude, however he quickly picked a fight with a strange looking man.
(Well, it's still nonsense, but it makes more sense than the previous 2 paragraphs!)
So when the centurion and those with him, who were guarding Jesus, saw the earthquake and the things that had happened, they feared greatly, saying, “Truly this was the Son of God!”
Matthew 27:54 |
|
|
|
Gladius
Homosapien
United Kingdom
2123 Posts |
Posted - 07 February 2008 : 9:12:40 PM
|
yep nonsense but good nonsense!
The Impossible Is Now Possible |
|
|
|
Coritanian
Homosapien
United Kingdom
1858 Posts |
Posted - 07 February 2008 : 9:14:15 PM
|
Absolutely! Anyway, on with the show...
So when the centurion and those with him, who were guarding Jesus, saw the earthquake and the things that had happened, they feared greatly, saying, “Truly this was the Son of God!”
Matthew 27:54 |
|
|
|
Coritanian
Homosapien
United Kingdom
1858 Posts |
Posted - 20 February 2008 : 1:40:53 PM
|
I'm going to edit this every few days, adding a new paragraph each time.
Well, here goes...
Whenever I look at her hair, it looked back at me. How the eyes never stop sparkling and the breasts never emerge, they inflame base instincts in me. Desperately, "BANG" went all of her grenades. So what happened under the bridge when I wasn't born, and after all is said bridge explosions. "How", said Jack. "A Kilo of gelignite isn't a recommended Warren killer, it doesn't appear to go anywhere, so maybe it doesn't work. However, that doesn't mean that Warren knows what to do anyway. No, this explosion was fermented in Marmite. The result exceeded all records worldwide for the alcohol powered explosive ignited rapidly and enveloped everyone within the building".
After supper, everybody went home. The pub closed at midnight, so what was the door doing ajar - who left it like that, maybe it was Rappy? He caught the birdflue and went crazy after trapping his head in the door after tripping over the pavement. A bruised and bloodied, forlorn Raptor decided to run into hospital then discovered that it was closed. He then went back to the the(?) pub for a large hammer but couldn't find a nail to fit so he used a chisel to chop into the side of the pub. Later he realised that somehow the improbability of breaking the laws was remote, however bending the truth is another thing entirely. So Rappy decided to raise the stakes and implement unilateral thinking. Rappy wasn't happy!
Rappy was happily fiddling with his newly polished chisel when suddenly a strange noise came from nearby. He turned towards the direction of the sound. What was that shape moving swiftly towards him? It was roughly ten foot tall and extremely wide, with fluffy ears and had an extremely large head. Rappie then froze as the giant thing opened it's handbag and took out a Tazer. Rappy flinched and stepped on the end of a plank that was balancing on the edge of a vortex. The beast roared as it plunged into the widening chasm below. Rappy watched as the beast was pulled further down the vortex that had suddenly shrunk after teatime. Rappy couldn't help but feel some gratitude, however he quickly picked a fight with a strange looking man.
The man looked like Margaret Jones from the local WI. Margaret was 80 years older than Rappy. That was impossibly harsh, as if she had aged rather much considering she was a blonde, many men used her as a friendly escape from life. Regrettably, after they left her, she felt rejected. Rappy saw a different man with a different looking woman, she was screaming "This city is going from a bright and beautiful city. My name's Emily Zigaro and I've been living here for over 15..." Rappy interrupted with curiosity."Why are you shouting widly, you look foolish". Turning, he decided to go make a Capuccino in a local coffee stall. Rappy stopped, admiring the freshly grown coffee-plants. Suddenly coffee spilled out of a mug, onto his lap. Rappy sprinted back home.
Back home, Rappy invited lots of ScarrowWags to comfort him. Several arrived quickly, others took their time. Rappy introduced his friends to his dog. "Woof" barked Bessie. The ScarrowWags laughed as Bessie licked Parm's cheek. "Have a piece of Waterhog" said Rappy, throwing darts at Parm, plastic darts though so it didn't injure him. The party raged as rappy waltzed with Ankhsy while Gladius was trying to hear what music played. Bessie decided that the best source of entertainment. Suddenly, Simon produced a hammer and saw, then attempted to fix the boat model presented to Andy as a reward for editing the latest monograph from the episode that he wrote last year.
The only Scarrowwag that hadn't received a backhander was Warren. He never got paid because he left his wallet at his workplace after he hurried to attend his marmite convention. "Warren looked very distracted with all Gladius's awards postings!" said Rappy. Next to arrive was Ultima, he looked cool as Ice T with flourescent pants, golden tights and his hair dyed pink with raspberry streaks. "Welcome," announced rappy. "Everyone please be merry, and eat pie with cheese!". "Certainly" said Parm.
Interesting!!!
So when the centurion and those with him, who were guarding Jesus, saw the earthquake and the things that had happened, they feared greatly, saying, “Truly this was the Son of God!”
Matthew 27:54 |
Edited by - Coritanian on 28 February 2008 1:14:53 PM |
|
|
|
Gladius
Homosapien
United Kingdom
2123 Posts |
Posted - 28 February 2008 : 1:15:24 PM
|
The end bit is fun with us all in it 
The Impossible Is Now Possible |
|
|
|
Gladius
Homosapien
United Kingdom
2123 Posts |
Posted - 01 March 2008 : 5:36:47 PM
|
Whenever I look at her hair, it looked back at me. How the eyes never stop sparkling and the breasts never emerge, they inflame base instincts in me. Desperately, "BANG" went all of her grenades. So what happened under the bridge when I wasn't born, and after all is said bridge explosions. "How", said Jack. "A Kilo of gelignite isn't a recommended Warren killer, it doesn't appear to go anywhere, so maybe it doesn't work. However, that doesn't mean that Warren knows what to do anyway. No, this explosion was fermented in Marmite. The result exceeded all records worldwide for the alcohol powered explosive ignited rapidly and enveloped everyone within the building".
After supper, everybody went home. The pub closed at midnight, so what was the door doing ajar - who left it like that, maybe it was Rappy? He caught the birdflue and went crazy after trapping his head in the door after tripping over the pavement. A bruised and bloodied, forlorn Raptor decided to run into hospital then discovered that it was closed. He then went back to the the(?) pub for a large hammer but couldn't find a nail to fit so he used a chisel to chop into the side of the pub. Later he realised that somehow the improbability of breaking the laws was remote, however bending the truth is another thing entirely. So Rappy decided to raise the stakes and implement unilateral thinking. Rappy wasn't happy!
Rappy was happily fiddling with his newly polished chisel when suddenly a strange noise came from nearby. He turned towards the direction of the sound. What was that shape moving swiftly towards him? It was roughly ten foot tall and extremely wide, with fluffy ears and had an extremely large head. Rappie then froze as the giant thing opened it's handbag and took out a Tazer. Rappy flinched and stepped on the end of a plank that was balancing on the edge of a vortex. The beast roared as it plunged into the widening chasm below. Rappy watched as the beast was pulled further down the vortex that had suddenly shrunk after teatime. Rappy couldn't help but feel some gratitude, however he quickly picked a fight with a strange looking man.
The man looked like Margaret Jones from the local WI. Margaret was 80 years older than Rappy. That was impossibly harsh, as if she had aged rather much considering she was a blonde, many men used her as a friendly escape from life. Regrettably, after they left her, she felt rejected. Rappy saw a different man with a different looking woman, she was screaming "This city is going from a bright and beautiful city. My name's Emily Zigaro and I've been living here for over 15..." Rappy interrupted with curiosity."Why are you shouting widly, you look foolish". Turning, he decided to go make a Capuccino in a local coffee stall. Rappy stopped, admiring the freshly grown coffee-plants. Suddenly coffee spilled out of a mug, onto his lap. Rappy sprinted back home.
Back home, Rappy invited lots of ScarrowWags to comfort him. Several arrived quickly, others took their time. Rappy introduced his friends to his dog. "Woof" barked Bessie. The ScarrowWags laughed as Bessie licked Parm's cheek. "Have a piece of Waterhog" said Rappy, throwing darts at Parm, plastic darts though so it didn't injure him. The party raged as rappy waltzed with Ankhsy while Gladius was trying to hear what music played. Bessie decided that the best source of entertainment. Suddenly, Simon produced a hammer and saw, then attempted to fix the boat model presented to Andy as a reward for editing the latest monograph from the episode that he wrote last year.
The only Scarrowwag that hadn't received a backhander was Warren. He never got paid because he left his wallet at his workplace after he hurried to attend his marmite convention. "Warren looked very distracted with all Gladius's awards postings!" said Rappy. Next to arrive was Ultima, he looked cool as Ice T with flourescent pants, golden tights and his hair dyed pink with raspberry streaks. "Welcome," announced rappy. "Everyone please be merry, and eat pie with cheese!". "Certainly" said Parm.
Suddenly a large tree fell on Parm, crushing his left arm. "OH GOD!" screamed Parm. Carelessly he asked for Coritanian to bring drugs to calm himself down. He gulped as the tree jolted and scraped his injured arm. Scarrowwags from all-over Europe were rushing to get him to safety, away from the tree.
Unfortunately branches kept snagging his body, making it vibrate painfully.
"AAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" cried Parm deafeningly. "Keep out gimps or I'm going to kill every single squirrel in the world!!" Dementedly Parm continued jibbering away, whilst the rest of the Scarrowwags played Scrabble. The atmsophere changed when Coritanian climbed over Gladius and fell down embarrassingly, breaking the vase into 1000 pieces of chrystalised pottery. The vase was lying, shattered and discarded, abandoned by Rappy.
The party was in danger of imploeding into itslef. However a new Scarrowwag surprise guest entered. "Hello" said Marshall "I'm new here, can i have a piece of cake??"
"NO!!" shouted Rappy selfishly. It seemed like Rappy was getting bored.
Wow great party lol!
The Impossible Is Now Possible |
|
|
|
Achilles
Small mammal
United Kingdom
519 Posts |
Posted - 01 March 2008 : 6:47:30 PM
|
lol!
"Let's just say that if complete and utter chaos was lightning, then he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm in wet copper armor and shouting "All gods are bastards" Terry Pratchett "The Colour Of Magic" |
|
|
|
Coritanian
Homosapien
United Kingdom
1858 Posts |
Posted - 07 March 2008 : 3:31:01 PM
|
What have we got this time, I wonder!
Whenever I look at her hair, it looked back at me. How the eyes never stop sparkling and the breasts never emerge, they inflame base instincts in me. Desperately, "BANG" went all of her grenades. So what happened under the bridge when I wasn't born, and after all is said bridge explosions. "How", said Jack. "A Kilo of gelignite isn't a recommended Warren killer, it doesn't appear to go anywhere, so maybe it doesn't work. However, that doesn't mean that Warren knows what to do anyway. No, this explosion was fermented in Marmite. The result exceeded all records worldwide for the alcohol powered explosive ignited rapidly and enveloped everyone within the building".
After supper, everybody went home. The pub closed at midnight, so what was the door doing ajar - who left it like that, maybe it was Rappy? He caught the birdflue and went crazy after trapping his head in the door after tripping over the pavement. A bruised and bloodied, forlorn Raptor decided to run into hospital then discovered that it was closed. He then went back to the the(?) pub for a large hammer but couldn't find a nail to fit so he used a chisel to chop into the side of the pub. Later he realised that somehow the improbability of breaking the laws was remote, however bending the truth is another thing entirely. So Rappy decided to raise the stakes and implement unilateral thinking. Rappy wasn't happy!
Rappy was happily fiddling with his newly polished chisel when suddenly a strange noise came from nearby. He turned towards the direction of the sound. What was that shape moving swiftly towards him? It was roughly ten foot tall and extremely wide, with fluffy ears and had an extremely large head. Rappie then froze as the giant thing opened it's handbag and took out a Tazer. Rappy flinched and stepped on the end of a plank that was balancing on the edge of a vortex. The beast roared as it plunged into the widening chasm below. Rappy watched as the beast was pulled further down the vortex that had suddenly shrunk after teatime. Rappy couldn't help but feel some gratitude, however he quickly picked a fight with a strange looking man.
The man looked like Margaret Jones from the local WI. Margaret was 80 years older than Rappy. That was impossibly harsh, as if she had aged rather much considering she was a blonde, many men used her as a friendly escape from life. Regrettably, after they left her, she felt rejected. Rappy saw a different man with a different looking woman, she was screaming "This city is going from a bright and beautiful city. My name's Emily Zigaro and I've been living here for over 15..." Rappy interrupted with curiosity."Why are you shouting widly, you look foolish". Turning, he decided to go make a Capuccino in a local coffee stall. Rappy stopped, admiring the freshly grown coffee-plants. Suddenly coffee spilled out of a mug, onto his lap. Rappy sprinted back home.
Back home, Rappy invited lots of ScarrowWags to comfort him. Several arrived quickly, others took their time. Rappy introduced his friends to his dog. "Woof" barked Bessie. The ScarrowWags laughed as Bessie licked Parm's cheek. "Have a piece of Waterhog" said Rappy, throwing darts at Parm, plastic darts though so it didn't injure him. The party raged as rappy waltzed with Ankhsy while Gladius was trying to hear what music played. Bessie decided that the best source of entertainment. Suddenly, Simon produced a hammer and saw, then attempted to fix the boat model presented to Andy as a reward for editing the latest monograph from the episode that he wrote last year.
The only Scarrowwag that hadn't received a backhander was Warren. He never got paid because he left his wallet at his workplace after he hurried to attend his marmite convention. "Warren looked very distracted with all Gladius's awards postings!" said Rappy. Next to arrive was Ultima, he looked cool as Ice T with flourescent pants, golden tights and his hair dyed pink with raspberry streaks. "Welcome," announced rappy. "Everyone please be merry, and eat pie with cheese!". "Certainly" said Parm.
Suddenly a large tree fell on Parm, crushing his left arm. "OH GOD!" screamed Parm. Carelessly he asked for Coritanian to bring drugs to calm himself down. He gulped as the tree jolted and scraped his injured arm. Scarrowwags from all-over Europe were rushing to get him to safety, away from the tree. Unfortunately branches kept snagging his body, making it vibrate painfully. "AAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" cried Parm deafeningly. "Keep out gimps or I'm going to kill every single squirrel in the world!!" Dementedly Parm continued jibbering away, whilst the rest of the Scarrowwags played Scrabble.
The atmosphere changed when Coritanian climbed over Gladius and fell down embarrassingly, breaking the vase into 1000 pieces of chrystalised pottery. The vase was lying, shattered and discarded, abandoned by Rappy. The party was in danger of imploeding into itslef. However a new Scarrowwag surprise guest entered. "Hello" said Marshall "I'm new here, can i have a piece of cake??". "NO!!" shouted Rappy selfishly. It seemed like Rappy was getting bored. "Closing now!"
Morning sunlight shone through the window as if the sun was right down on the lawn. The owner was slowly refurbishing the establishment after a large flood caused major damage to the left side of the house. "Why wibble the dibble if he nibbles and bibbles?" It rocked his world to kibble, the nibble the mousetrap afterwards. Meanwhile the dingdongs became monkeys and aardvarks when the drumroll sounded. geoff ran stealthily towards Starbucks, intending mass consumption Cinnamon bagels. Geoff's appetite was temporarily exploded as a burger bite became part of the chips and suddenly it became emotionally detached from the reality which had stagnated into nothingness.
Good work, guys!
So when the centurion and those with him, who were guarding Jesus, saw the earthquake and the things that had happened, they feared greatly, saying, “Truly this was the Son of God!”
Matthew 27:54 |
Edited by - Coritanian on 07 March 2008 4:38:17 PM |
|
|
|
Gladius
Homosapien
United Kingdom
2123 Posts |
Posted - 07 March 2008 : 6:38:49 PM
|
The last two paragraphs are fantastic lol!
If we knew what we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
A. Einstein |
|
|
|
Coritanian
Homosapien
United Kingdom
1858 Posts |
Posted - 12 May 2008 : 11:32:11 PM
|
It's been a while, so here's yet another instalment:
Whenever I look at her hair, it looked back at me. How the eyes never stop sparkling and the breasts never emerge, they inflame base instincts in me. Desperately, "BANG" went all of her grenades. So what happened under the bridge when I wasn't born, and after all is said bridge explosions. "How", said Jack. "A Kilo of gelignite isn't a recommended Warren killer, it doesn't appear to go anywhere, so maybe it doesn't work. However, that doesn't mean that Warren knows what to do anyway. No, this explosion was fermented in Marmite. The result exceeded all records worldwide for the alcohol powered explosive ignited rapidly and enveloped everyone within the building".
After supper, everybody went home. The pub closed at midnight, so what was the door doing ajar - who left it like that, maybe it was Rappy? He caught the birdflue and went crazy after trapping his head in the door after tripping over the pavement. A bruised and bloodied, forlorn Raptor decided to run into hospital then discovered that it was closed. He then went back to the the(?) pub for a large hammer but couldn't find a nail to fit so he used a chisel to chop into the side of the pub. Later he realised that somehow the improbability of breaking the laws was remote, however bending the truth is another thing entirely. So Rappy decided to raise the stakes and implement unilateral thinking. Rappy wasn't happy!
Rappy was happily fiddling with his newly polished chisel when suddenly a strange noise came from nearby. He turned towards the direction of the sound. What was that shape moving swiftly towards him? It was roughly ten foot tall and extremely wide, with fluffy ears and had an extremely large head. Rappie then froze as the giant thing opened it's handbag and took out a Tazer. Rappy flinched and stepped on the end of a plank that was balancing on the edge of a vortex. The beast roared as it plunged into the widening chasm below. Rappy watched as the beast was pulled further down the vortex that had suddenly shrunk after teatime. Rappy couldn't help but feel some gratitude, however he quickly picked a fight with a strange looking man.
The man looked like Margaret Jones from the local WI. Margaret was 80 years older than Rappy. That was impossibly harsh, as if she had aged rather much considering she was a blonde, many men used her as a friendly escape from life. Regrettably, after they left her, she felt rejected. Rappy saw a different man with a different looking woman, she was screaming "This city is going from a bright and beautiful city. My name's Emily Zigaro and I've been living here for over 15..." Rappy interrupted with curiosity."Why are you shouting widly, you look foolish". Turning, he decided to go make a Capuccino in a local coffee stall. Rappy stopped, admiring the freshly grown coffee-plants. Suddenly coffee spilled out of a mug, onto his lap. Rappy sprinted back home.
Back home, Rappy invited lots of ScarrowWags to comfort him. Several arrived quickly, others took their time. Rappy introduced his friends to his dog. "Woof" barked Bessie. The ScarrowWags laughed as Bessie licked Parm's cheek. "Have a piece of Waterhog" said Rappy, throwing darts at Parm, plastic darts though so it didn't injure him. The party raged as rappy waltzed with Ankhsy while Gladius was trying to hear what music played. Bessie decided that the best source of entertainment. Suddenly, Simon produced a hammer and saw, then attempted to fix the boat model presented to Andy as a reward for editing the latest monograph from the episode that he wrote last year.
The only Scarrowwag that hadn't received a backhander was Warren. He never got paid because he left his wallet at his workplace after he hurried to attend his marmite convention. "Warren looked very distracted with all Gladius's awards postings!" said Rappy. Next to arrive was Ultima, he looked cool as Ice T with flourescent pants, golden tights and his hair dyed pink with raspberry streaks. "Welcome," announced rappy. "Everyone please be merry, and eat pie with cheese!". "Certainly" said Parm.
Suddenly a large tree fell on Parm, crushing his left arm. "OH GOD!" screamed Parm. Carelessly he asked for Coritanian to bring drugs to calm himself down. He gulped as the tree jolted and scraped his injured arm. Scarrowwags from all-over Europe were rushing to get him to safety, away from the tree. Unfortunately branches kept snagging his body, making it vibrate painfully. "AAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" cried Parm deafeningly. "Keep out gimps or I'm going to kill every single squirrel in the world!!" Dementedly Parm continued jibbering away, whilst the rest of the Scarrowwags played Scrabble.
The atmosphere changed when Coritanian climbed over Gladius and fell down embarrassingly, breaking the vase into 1000 pieces of chrystalised pottery. The vase was lying, shattered and discarded, abandoned by Rappy. The party was in danger of imploeding into itslef. However a new Scarrowwag surprise guest entered. "Hello" said Marshall "I'm new here, can i have a piece of cake??". "NO!!" shouted Rappy selfishly. It seemed like Rappy was getting bored. "Closing now!"
Morning sunlight shone through the window as if the sun was right down on the lawn. The owner was slowly refurbishing the establishment after a large flood caused major damage to the left side of the house. "Why wibble the dibble if he nibbles and bibbles?" It rocked his world to kibble, the nibble the mousetrap afterwards. Meanwhile the dingdongs became monkeys and aardvarks when the drumroll sounded. geoff ran stealthily towards Starbucks, intending mass consumption Cinnamon bagels. Geoff's appetite was temporarily exploded as a burger bite became part of the chips and suddenly it became emotionally detached from the reality which had stagnated into nothingness.
"Why?!!! Oh!!!" said father Barleymo after sniffing aerosol and puffing weed through snorkels. Then he translated his version of events into Canadian. He comprehended the conversation that had erupted between the giant Octopus and the Blue Whale. It seemed like the last incident in the life of King David, who died from choking on his cheeseburger. It lodged itself in his oesophagus and blocked his pathway. Later, the Queen opened a new bottle production factory in Barnsley. It wasn't very large, or very grand, but it had ample furnishing. Once she had left her car at the factory, Prince Naseem of Qumar decided not to ask her if she had taken his teddy, which was missing. After three attempts to find the answer to his question. His arm was itching intensely after being scratched menacingly by Raccoons which later ran off.
Many hours later, once the moon had disappeared, my only fear was that Werewolves were approaching from the mist. Thankfully, the weather prevented anything from happening that would start a riot. Ambassador Bombastica from darkest Centauri was undecided about invading the Borg-eating Magog, because they didn't pose naked in playboy when they became Werewolves. Meanwhile, back on track, the Werewolves manged to scavenge whatever meat they could. The day before Judgement day, Prophet Trevor went under Tower bridge in his Powerboat! Once, the outcome of the Powerboat Olympics was powerful, but the winner had received nothing from Mayor Boris other than promises, which failed for many people.
You know, someone should publish this. I guarantee there's nothing out there quite like it!
So when the centurion and those with him, who were guarding Jesus, saw the earthquake and the things that had happened, they feared greatly, saying, “Truly this was the Son of God!”
Matthew 27:54 |
|
|
| |
Topic |
|
|
|
The story so far....
