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Mace
Small mammal
United Kingdom
738 Posts |
 Posted - 04 July 2008 : 3:11:13 PM
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Been a slow day at work, so I just started listing the things that make being Scottish so much better than being English. Please feel free to add wny others you may think of…
• We don’t have league tables for education or hospitals: there shouldn’t BE any need to have to choose where your child gets educated, or who does your operation. If everyone is paying the same tax, everyone should get the same service.
• We don’t see passing school tests as being the same as being educated.
• Our taxes have paid for our children to get further education: there’s no need to have our kids get leave university with debt, getting a job to pay off a loan they had to take in order to get the job that is paying taxes.
• We don’t expect to win every sporting competition we enter by dint of the fact we turned up.
• Our flag is seen as a symbol of national pride, not ignorance and imperialism.
• We can get cast as good guys in Hollywood films.
• We’ve invented many of today’s most important things: Television, penicillin, deep fried mars bars, Jimmy Kranky.
Despite living under English rule, we get to vote in crap laws that only effect them.
• Other country’s like us.
Of course, we’ve got a few problems:
• We overspend on the Scottish Parliament by around £350 million – and it’s hideous.
• Other countries would rather take Monopoly bank notes than ours.
• We’re going to die a lot sooner than you, but will probably enjoy ourselves more.
• We like the French
• Duke of Edinburgh.
• Our neighbors…
"My Mom says I'm cool"
Millhouse.
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John Prigent
Homosapien
United Kingdom
8794 Posts |
Posted - 04 July 2008 : 3:56:59 PM
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Being Scottish is much better than being English because English taxes subsidise all those tax-paid things that are better in Scotland. Also because the Prime Minister and his flunkies have much less say on affairs in Scotland, thanks to the SNP, than they do in England - though he's a Scot!
Cheers
John
Sum, ergo cogito |
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Mace
Small mammal
United Kingdom
738 Posts |
Posted - 04 July 2008 : 4:07:50 PM
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You've gotta love it.And looking through some other posts, seems like I should start smoking so that you'll pay for me to quit.
"My Mom says I'm cool"
Millhouse. |
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Stomachus Grossus
Homosapien
United Kingdom
1949 Posts |
Posted - 04 July 2008 : 4:22:18 PM
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midgies, cold, snow, rain, alchololism, over weight ,,,,,
Moriarty: I see that ten years in Britain have not changed your Imperial Roman outlook, Caesar.
Caesar (G): True, Moriartus, always a Roman eye.
Moriarty: Will you take wine?
Caesar: No thanks, I think I'll have a half of mild and a packet of crisps.
*the Goon Show the history of Plinny the elder
www.beatthedrum.wordpress.com |
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Ankhsy
Homosapien
United Kingdom
7861 Posts |
Posted - 04 July 2008 : 9:24:47 PM
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Stom is right. Every time I've been in Scotland, it was cold and raining. Besides...I have a hard time figuring out what they are saying.
"We are Starfleet officers, weird is part of the job."
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John Prigent
Homosapien
United Kingdom
8794 Posts |
Posted - 04 July 2008 : 9:33:00 PM
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Oh, it doesn't rain _all_ the time in Scotland. i went to Edinburgh once and it was sunny - the problem arises in figuring out which week will be summer. The saying is "if you can see the mountains it's going to rain, if you can't see them it _is_ raining".
Cheers
John
Sum, ergo cogito |
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Fast Paul
Ape
United Kingdom
1006 Posts |
Posted - 05 July 2008 : 12:54:56 AM
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Harsh....but fair...
It`s true that opposite`s attract!
Thats why your surrounded by beautiful, intelligent, happy people! |
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WarrenH
Homosapien
United Kingdom
2020 Posts |
Posted - 05 July 2008 : 10:17:17 AM
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Nice one.
When is the wall going to be rebuilt?
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Coritanian
Homosapien
United Kingdom
2031 Posts |
Posted - 05 July 2008 : 11:16:31 AM
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When will you Scots realise (I wanted to put Jocks, but didn't really want to risk offending!) that we are English are better than you? End of story. Also, we're a lot more arrogant!
You're right about one thing, Mace. We do seem to expect to do well in sporting events. Just because we invented Football, Rugby and Cricket, it deosn't give us a divine right to be the best. They were all invented well over 100 years ago. Things change.
What is a bit odd though, is how much Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland and the Irish Republic relish in our defeats. I would gladly support one of these countries if they were in a competition that England weren't in, if it wan't for this fact. A friend of mine was recntly in Scotland somewhere, and he saw a T-shirt on sale in a shop that read "I support Scotland, and anyone who England's playing"! Small-minded pettiness!
Does anyone remember the Chicken Hawk in the Foghorn Leghorn cartoons? It was small and always trying to take down the Chicken, much to his annoyance. It reminds me a bit of our British neighbours !
Well, it looks like I've offended after all !
So when the centurion and those with him, who were guarding Jesus, saw the earthquake and the things that had happened, they feared greatly, saying, “Truly this was the Son of God!”
Matthew 27:54 |
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Mace
Small mammal
United Kingdom
738 Posts |
Posted - 05 July 2008 : 12:04:52 PM
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If the English media could shut up, I wouldn't mind them doing well in sport. Next time you're watching football, rugby, tennis, etc on TV, try listening as though your not English. The fact that they will not go over the highlights from the Scot v Ireland game at half time, but rehash some unimportant point about the English team. Or compare the new England team to the '66 team (even though it's a rugby game). Or call an English sportsman English, and a Scot/Irish/Welsh a Brittish sportsman...BTW: how many of you cheered when France went out of the Euro 08?
Plus, it's only a white Christmas if there's flakes in London; Cardiff, Glasgow and Dublin could all be under 6 feet, but that's not important.
P.S: I don't believe that football was invented in the UK. When the scottish fil, an animals bladder with anything, they'll eat it. And if the english filled a bag with hot air, it becomes one of them. The welsh would boink it, and the irish would've stoned it to death for blasphime.
"My Mom says I'm cool"
Millhouse. |
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John Prigent
Homosapien
United Kingdom
8794 Posts |
Posted - 05 July 2008 : 12:17:59 PM
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I'd prefer them to shut up about football completely - stupid waste of time-type game. However, since you seem to talking about TV coverage Mace, try to remember that the TV people aim their stuff at the largest audience they can get. There are more people in England, so that's what they talk about. If there were more Scots than English viewers they'd talk about the Scottish matches instead. Unfortunately they haven't realised that there are far more of us who couldn't care less about football and don't want to know about it.
By the way, did you see Newswatch this morning? People have apparently complained because the 10 pm News was delayed for some footballmatch or other that had finished 20 minutes before 10 pm, and teh BBC response was that they'd stayed with the talkinghead because there was a delay presenting the trophy. Apparently it didn't occur to them that they could have gone to the News on time at 10 and simply covered the presentation as part of it. My own belief is that the BBC and ITV channels are controlled by people who like football and simply can't understand that the 10 milion-strong audiences they boast of are a _minority_ of the possible 60 million viewers. Yes, I'm including the kids - because they think children should be watching their silly games.
Cheers
John
Sum, ergo cogito |
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Mace
Small mammal
United Kingdom
738 Posts |
Posted - 05 July 2008 : 12:29:49 PM
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Agree that footy gets far too much coverage now. Every cannel show SPL, Barklays prem, 2nd, 3rd div, Italian, Spanish, Euro cups, UK cups, World cups etc etc.
I can only watch a game if it's actualy important.
But just because there are more Enlish than Scots doesn't give them the right to ignore the game in hand. Does that mean that they don't need to show the highlights of Sunderland v Blackpool: lets go and see what's happening at Old Trafford instead.
"My Mom says I'm cool"
Millhouse. |
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WarrenH
Homosapien
United Kingdom
2020 Posts |
Posted - 05 July 2008 : 1:32:36 PM
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SO WHEN ARE WE GOING TO GET THE DARN WALL REBUILT?
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Coritanian
Homosapien
United Kingdom
2031 Posts |
Posted - 05 July 2008 : 2:19:26 PM
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Yeah, bring back the wall. And Primae noctis aswell, while you're at it !
So when the centurion and those with him, who were guarding Jesus, saw the earthquake and the things that had happened, they feared greatly, saying, “Truly this was the Son of God!”
Matthew 27:54 |
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John Prigent
Homosapien
United Kingdom
8794 Posts |
Posted - 05 July 2008 : 2:42:37 PM
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Isn't Old Trafford a cricket ground? That would mean that _of course_ it should be shown in preference to football. Grin.
quote:
Originally posted by Mace
Agree that footy gets far too much coverage now. Every cannel show SPL, Barklays prem, 2nd, 3rd div, Italian, Spanish, Euro cups, UK cups, World cups etc etc.
I can only watch a game if it's actualy important.
But just because there are more Enlish than Scots doesn't give them the right to ignore the game in hand. Does that mean that they don't need to show the highlights of Sunderland v Blackpool: lets go and see what's happening at Old Trafford instead.
"My Mom says I'm cool"
Millhouse.
Cheers
John
Sum, ergo cogito |
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Mace
Small mammal
United Kingdom
738 Posts |
Posted - 05 July 2008 : 4:10:29 PM
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Do you a swap, then: you keep cricket, we'll take rugby.
"My Mom says I'm cool"
Millhouse. |
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WarrenH
Homosapien
United Kingdom
2020 Posts |
Posted - 05 July 2008 : 8:08:51 PM
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Football, rubgy, cricket, bowls, golf, tennis....... and anything else - WHAT A BORE!
Give me a decent movie, documentary, TV series then I'll be watching TV, or else I am doing online gaming! more entertaining...
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Fast Paul
Ape
United Kingdom
1006 Posts |
Posted - 06 July 2008 : 1:36:08 PM
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Such disrespect for the beautiful game.
You`re all heathens to the god of football.
Come on you Blues!!!!
It`s true that opposite`s attract!
Thats why your surrounded by beautiful, intelligent, happy people! |
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Parmenion
Homosapien
United Kingdom
14676 Posts |
Posted - 07 July 2008 : 11:33:23 AM
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Those who know nothing about the greatness of footy have a shallow life!! {grin}
Centurion Parmenion
LASCIATE OGNE SPERANZA, VOI CH'INTRATE
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Coritanian
Homosapien
United Kingdom
2031 Posts |
Posted - 07 July 2008 : 8:37:07 PM
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Well, I used to like football, but I'm a Leicester city fan and in recent years, they've decided to stop playing it altogether !
So when the centurion and those with him, who were guarding Jesus, saw the earthquake and the things that had happened, they feared greatly, saying, “Truly this was the Son of God!”
Matthew 27:54 |
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Parmenion
Homosapien
United Kingdom
14676 Posts |
Posted - 07 July 2008 : 8:39:25 PM
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LOL...true mate!!!
Centurion Parmenion
LASCIATE OGNE SPERANZA, VOI CH'INTRATE
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Mace
Small mammal
United Kingdom
738 Posts |
Posted - 08 July 2008 : 2:44:42 PM
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Aww, anyone can play football lads. Just stand there and kick a ball, fall over like youve been shot if you get tackled, then happily lie down while all 10 of your team mates attempt to make man love to you on the pitch without complaining.
"My Mom says I'm cool"
Millhouse. |
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Titus Tullius Hibernus
Single Cell Organism
Ireland
37 Posts |
Posted - 17 October 2009 : 11:55:56 PM
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yeh, any1 can play any sport, tht dusnt mean they can play it well.
what people in ireland dont like bout the english football team is tht no matter how crap they play they do well while ireland dus the opposite (like italy 14/10/09)
"I drink therefore I am" - Monty Python |
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Simon Scarrow
Ape
Uruguay
1048 Posts |
Posted - 18 October 2009 : 11:07:29 AM
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| I'm reminded of that scene in Trainspotting where they all go out to the countryside to get back to their scots roots. It's a pretty miserable experience and Renfield turns to the guy whose idea it was and tells him that being scottish sucks, and anyway how good can the country be when it has been conquered and run by a third rate bunch of ****ers like the English? |
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Coritanian
Homosapien
United Kingdom
2031 Posts |
Posted - 18 October 2009 : 4:25:34 PM
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A friend of mine was in Scotland a while back, and he saw a shirt on sale in a shop window which read: "I support Scotland, and anyone who England plays"! You have to pity them really. A nation where even the men wear skirts!
So when the centurion and those with him, who were guarding Jesus, saw the earthquake and the things that had happened, they feared greatly, saying, “Truly this was the Son of God!”
Matthew 27:54 |
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Mace
Small mammal
United Kingdom
738 Posts |
Posted - 18 October 2009 : 8:43:18 PM
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What's englands national dress? Morris Daning outfits? Hmm, man in kilt and sporan v man in stockings with bells on... wonder why that's never took on at wedding the same?
"My Mom says I'm cool"
Millhouse. |
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Simon Scarrow
Ape
Uruguay
1048 Posts |
Posted - 18 October 2009 : 11:02:14 PM
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| National dress? You don't know? Shame on you! Right, get down to Primark and get measured up for that shellsuit and Berbury cap asap, before you dare show your face here again. Bah! |
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Mace
Small mammal
United Kingdom
738 Posts |
Posted - 19 October 2009 : 12:39:16 PM
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Fair point Simon. National dress is football shirt, tattos and skinhead...
"My Mom says I'm cool"
Millhouse. |
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John Prigent
Homosapien
United Kingdom
8794 Posts |
Posted - 19 October 2009 : 12:54:43 PM
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Wrong! English national dress is black jacket, pinstripe trousers, bowler hat and rolled umbrella. Women are permitted to wear a skirt instead of the trousers.
French national dress for men, on the other hand, is greasy blue dungarees over a collarless shirt, beret, and Gaulois dangling from the lower lip. Ladies are required to wear black dresses with lace collars; on high days and holidays the black must almost disappear from view under multi-coloured embroidery and embroidered lace caps must be worn. Joking aside, I must be one of the last people to see Norman traditional dress being worn by the women for their everyday activities - believe it or not, they were washing linen in the River Sienne. This was soon after the war and US "precision" bombing of the ruined chateau on the hill near the town had meant that there was no running water and a lot of damage to buildings. The chateau was untouched, of course.
Cheers
John
Sum, ergo cogito |
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Mace
Small mammal
United Kingdom
738 Posts |
Posted - 14 November 2009 : 9:10:09 PM
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TB Fair, John, they never showed that on Sharp...
"My Mom says I'm cool"
Millhouse. |
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Scotland v England
