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scarrow
Forum Admin
588 Posts |
 Posted - 24 July 2006 : 08:40:37 AM
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Voters...below you will find the manifesto/policy document/ election pledges of each of the Candidates listed in this election. Please, if you have time, give them a read.
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jof
Single Cell Organism
United Kingdom
30 Posts |
Posted - 25 July 2006 : 9:06:28 PM
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A spectre is haunting the world…The spectre of Joffalism. All the Powers of these forums have entered into a holy alliance to exorcise this spectre: Many of these parties do not even have a name: there is the National Party of Scarrow and the other assorted graduated flunkeys of clericalism.
Comrades, how often have you been disappointed by politicians who promise you everything under the sun, yet after Election Day, they develop a severe case of amnesia? The type of careerist who will take every opportunity to stab you and the rest of the working class in the back, if there is money to be accumulated from it. I assure you, that my opponents are little different in this respect.
Remember the words of our first Comrade, Old Major: He was an old Boar and not, as our anti Revolutionary friends would have it, ‘an old bore!’ He instructed us in the foremost rule of Joffalism; “Your resolution must never falter. No argument must lead you astray. Never listen when they tell you.” One need only ponder awhile until they realise the meaning of this. It is that we should take up arms and overthrow our oppressors, we should, in short, Vote the Universal Joffalist movement into power and with that reap the rewards that come with it!
You ask, what are these rewards? Well, the one we know you are concerned about is this: Free Cookies! We hear the proletariat and as such we know what they want and need. We have identified the most revolutionary snack in existence, this is the people’s food, this is what underpins the social order and as such this is power! We will distribute all power equally among our people and if this means that we must gain access to large amounts of sugary snacks…Well this is a path that The Joffalist movement is willing to take.
Remember. Vote the Joffalist Movement!!! Vote Cookies!!!
(321 Words)
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"Go ahead, shoot, your only going to kill a man"-Che Guevara to his assassin
VOTE ME DICTATOR FOR LIFE IN THE UNIVERSAL JOFFALIST MOVEMENT! |
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drosdelnoch
Small mammal
United Kingdom
484 Posts |
Posted - 26 July 2006 : 2:38:15 PM
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We of the Make Britain Great Party believe that for too long has the corrupt misguided government given out promises that they have yet to fulfil. We operate on a seprative agenda. We believe that if you wouldn’t drink with us in the pub then you shouldn’t vote for us. Why is this, well to put it simply it means that we’re reaching our audience and listening to what they want, a case of whats good for the people as opposed to the individual.
For too long has the corrupt government managed to grab everything and pocket huge incentives whilst making the rest of us suffer.
What we propose for our term in government is simple and direct:
1) Upon being elected all our parties goods will be sold and the cash placed into the government coffers. We will be allowed the average wage plus free living accommodation until the end of our term. If the government has made a profit, then we will receive a proportion of that profit on our original investment. This will keep everything honest and above board. Those found to be accepting backhanders will thus be forced to face Proposition 3.
2) We will not go to war unless absolutely necessary. Should a decision to go to war be made we will lead from the front. After all why risk out peoples lives without putting ourselves in the line of fire.
3) Prostitution will be legalised in certain areas, within Government run brothels. This will mean that we will benefit from safe sanctioned houses, the women will be treated better with health care and the visitors can be assured of safety at all times. As a side bonus it will be taxable.
4) We plan to reform prisons and find a way to help make it profitable for the country. We plan to fence off the Isle of Wight or Isle of Man, perhaps both and move all prisoners there. They will then receive food bombs, those that survive the drop will feed, those that don’t, won’t, and the problem is solved to a certain degree. We will also reintroduce Gladiatorial combat for certain offences. This includes Murder, Armed Robbery, Drug Trafficking and Paedophilia as well as other offences to be discussed. Those who survive 30 fights will be allowed their freedom. Likewise we plan to benefit from selling the rights to televise the spectacle as well as a nice chunk of cash from the betting. Those who survive will receive medical attention paid for from the profits of the events with the rest going into the government coffers.
5) Unlike previous governments we plan to do our bit for the environment, firstly we plan to actually have a functional transport system. All previously privatised public transport companies will become the property of the government and thus run on paying for themselves including modernisation schemes rather than lining some fat cats pockets.
Thank you for your time and remember, with your help, we’ll put the Great back into Britain.
Gareth
505 Words
Legends Never Die, Druss Lives! |
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Ankhsy
Homosapien
United Kingdom
7861 Posts |
Posted - 29 July 2006 : 4:43:32 PM
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Universal Justice Party Manifesto
It’s about time people looked at Justice and human rights on a global scale, and this is what I promote.
Britain to be a secular state
Complete separation of church & state; no religious representation in parliament and no diplomatic recognition of religious bodies; religion to be a personal matter and only discreet display of religious affiliation allowed in public; religious rules to be subject to state rules; Religion to be taught as part of cultural education only & no religious-sponsored schools allowed. Dissenters to be offered the opportunity to meet the maker of their choice at the earliest opportunity.
Pantheism to be encouraged
The Brotherhood of life - ‘God’ is identical with the universe, co-substantial and co-extensive in time and space. The physical world of nature is essentially good and deserving of respect, and this includes dinosaurs. The Vulcan IDIC (Infinite diversity in infinite combinations) is promoted – beauty, growth and progress all result from the union of the unlike. Concord as well as discord (see Dispute Resolution) requires the combination of different views). Dissenters to be offered one way tickets to Texas.
Dispute Resolution
Disputes are to be solved by locking the disputees in a dark room on bread (wholegrain) and water (tap water variety) until a compromise is reached; compromises to be renegotiated if required every three years; individuals may request that their lawyers are locked up with them (lawyers cannot refuse to take on a case and have an obligation to undertakes a minimum of pro bono cases every year)
Human Rights
The good of the many outweigh the good of the few – individual human rights are secondary to the public good; People who feel their individual human rights outweigh the good of the many may request solution via the Dispute Resolution method.
Accidents to be made legal
People have to take personal responsibility for their own stupidly. Stupid people will be encouraged to compete for the Darwin Awards (granted posthumously) by removing themselves from the gene pool through their own stupidity (it is hoped that this will encourage the demise of the legal leech profession).
Free Trade
Removal of worldwide trade restrictions enabling everyone to compete on a level playing field. In the short term, this will result in hardships for those currently benefiting from protectionism, but in the long term, this will help in the eradication of poverty worldwide and the greater good. Dissenters will be encouraged to emigrate to Texas.
State Fund for Emergency Aid to Foreign Countries to be abolished/Creation of 2 Yr Community Service for 16 yr olds.
Teens to have an obligation to spend two years of their lives doing voluntary work for the community at home or abroad; this will give teens a taste of their public obligations and responsibilities and help in gaining maturity and understanding that the world does not revolve around them.
Free University Education + living grant to students
Students who do not complete their university course will be expected to repay their fees and grants (an option exists to seek a transfer to community work for 2 yrs or the time remaining in university, whichever is the higher).
VOTE for the UJP (Universal Justice Party)
"It's hard to work in a group when you're omniscient."
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Parmenion
Homosapien
United Kingdom
14676 Posts |
Posted - 31 July 2006 : 4:16:26 PM
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The Party For the People
Vote for me and I will initiate a new modern election process the old would be done away with, replaced by annual election of community representatives, to create a country governed by its own people, People from each community, people with a reason to care about where they live will have a voice in how to change and fix things
Government is not just about ourselves we have a responsibility on the world stage and as such we will cancel debt for 52 poorest countries and hope that the rest of the world will follow suit.
How can we improve the country and the world we live in? Cancel the hugely wasteful, flawed and insecure ID card system and pour the money into a hydrogen powered car scheme, that would see cheap affordable environmentally friendly cars on the road within 4 years, with a network of new hydrogen filling stations around the road network.
Stop subsidising the aviation industry (currently to the tune of £9 billion) again pour funds into finding a substitute for aviation fuel that would improve the environment and also reduce the cost of international travel
Reduce amount of our nuclear weapons, the money saved is to be put into rearming our forces with the proper equipment. We might want to be a loved country on the world stage but we still need to be able to effectively defend ourselves and having our troops ill equipped is criminal, they should never have to resort to buying their own boots and clothing, and as for the disgraceful treatment of the Airforce and Navy, they will be brought back up to their former glory. The wasteful expense of Euro fighters will be stopped and we will Go back to building British Fighters, we once built the best in the world, The Harrier the Spitfire!
Return all Privatised Companies, rail and tube networks to public ownership as well as all water and power companies, too long have we sold our assets off to Europe and the US, to see them raise charges and reduce service, while they themselves have laws against the sale of such commodities to foreign buyers.
In education I propose to abolish tuition and top-up fees why do we persecute our newest and brightest minds, at the same time do away with courses that are there just to keep students off the unemployed tables, make the courses worthwhile with a career at the end of them and create Jobs to keep these young people off the unemployment lists
An end to “multi-cultural brainwashing” in our schools. English heritage will be taught instead, but still with an emphasis on global community
Replace council tax with local income tax, so the poorest don’t pay more than the richest
Council powers to provide homes for the homeless in buildings unused for more than a year, Councils allowed to use profit from the sale of council houses to build more homes. Though tighter control on the abuse of the current green belt.
60% of all household waste recycled by 2010
Assistants for police officers, to help with all the paperwork (created by Labour policies) lets unchain our police and allow them to get back on the streets doing the job they are paid for , not mindless admin.
Removal of Speed Camera’s they serve no purpose except to generate money. A scheme will be launched to work with Swedish Road Safety experts who have an amazing safety record.
Move to an immigration points based system, the Australians have proved it works.
Reintroduce National Service for a 15 year period : Each person to serve 2 years on leaving school, the national service program will run for 15 years, Kids these days have lost their moral code, they need to be brought back into line to re-establish what it means to be British and to learn discipline and respect. The Time frame allowed should mean that the generation that follow these National Service trained men and Women will adopt their moral codes and thus perpetuate the Moral improvement of the UK
Finally Remove Britain from The EU, its outdated and skewed towards the mainland in terms of power and so Britain loses every-time. Lets stop giving away our money to aid other European countries have the same benefits as us, if they want them let them earn them.
LASCIATE OGNE SPERANZA, VOI CH'INTRATE
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Edited by - Parmenion on 01 August 2006 09:55:33 AM |
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John Prigent
Homosapien
United Kingdom
8794 Posts |
Posted - 01 August 2006 : 1:33:02 PM
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SCARROWAGS ESSENTIAL LIBERATION FRONT
There is no doubt that our country needs wide-ranging reforms. These cannot be achieved under the dead hand of Brussels, so the first priority of my administration will be to withdraw from the European Union. This will allow us to make the needed changes to our laws while still adhering voluntarily to those European rules that actually make sense. In other words, we will pick the ones that suit us just like other European countries but with more honesty.
We will then:
1. Repeal the current Human Rights Act and put in its place new legislation that actually makes sense.
2. Spend in England the money now paid to Brussels, saving us many billions of pounds to reduce the massive burden of taxation.
3. Admit only useful immigrants who will work and pay Income Tax. Those suffering from diseases like Tuberculosis will not be admitted. Immigrants may bring in family members but these will not be permitted access to tax-funded education, the NHS, unemployment or other benefits, or the State Pension.
4. Expel all illegal immigrants immediately on apprehension, with appeal only being allowed from their countries of claimed origin. Asylum claims will only be considered from those arriving directly from unsafe countries and claiming immediately upon arrival at a designated entry port or airport.
5. Reform our prisons by removing all entertainment and sports facilities, and reinstating imprisonment at hard labour.
6. Impose minimum sentences and remove remission for “good behaviour”; bad behaviour will instead be punished by an automatic increase in the time to be served and Life will mean Life.
7. We will return to capital punishment for those convicted of murder, rape of or by either sex, or paedophilia. It will be applied retroactively to those already convicted after their convictions have been re-examined and found to be correctly decided in the light of modern forensic science.
8. Any person responsible for the release of a criminal or psychiatric patient who then commits a crime will be treated as equally guilty and will be imprisoned accordingly.
9. Motoring law will state that if death or serious injury results from an accident the person found responsible will be charged with manslaughter, whether the driver, a mechanic failing to service the car properly, or any other person including pedestrians.
10. Food law will be changed to force companies to clean and sterilise their equipment. “May contain nuts” will no longer be permitted as a get-out; sufferers from allergies must be confident that only the stated ingredients are contained in a product.
11. The space outside any residential premises where parking is allowed will be reserved for parking by the residents of those premises or their invited guests. Emergency and medical vehicles will of course be exempt. Commercial vehicles will not be kept on residential streets.
12. And finally, all earnings from good books will be tax-free. A panel of Scarrowags will decide which books qualify as good.
Scarrowags unite and vote for us!
Cheers
John |
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WarrenH
Homosapien
United Kingdom
2020 Posts |
Posted - 07 August 2006 : 2:01:57 PM
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Right here goes:
English Republic Party:
We stand for the following:
1) No more money going outside the country, unless it is to finance and rebuild the British Armed Forces.
2) Re-activate the Navy, bring it full strength.
3) Re-Arm England. Bring the Armed forces up to full strength (Cold War status) and about 25% more.
4)Re-introduce National Service, with the following:
a) College/University related bonuses for years served.
b) Citizenship and medical related to years served.
c) Full triaining given in chosen field, relative to current situation.
d) No Private Armies/Military Units/Companies and such Like.
5) Abolish all human rights as it stands, and give the normal citizen back their rights, All criminal lose their rights until proved innocent!
6) Dump the Jury system, it does not work! Bring in District/Regional Magistrates, have 4? Supreme court division, that are chaired by 3(three) Judges, who decide the case.
7) Have a general foundation of sentencing requirements and length of terms allocated.
8) Have a central Criminal Law/Law of Evidence/Traffic Act/Firearm Act/Drug Act etc, not so many as their are now.
9) Central "A" political Police Force!
10) Zero Tolerance.
"Ying tong, ying tong, what a miss mash of cods wallop and gungafof. Never in my life have I had the pleasure of reading a concoction of trype and onions." |
Edited by - WarrenH on 22 August 2006 12:06:16 PM |
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Parmenion
Homosapien
United Kingdom
14676 Posts |
Posted - 22 August 2006 : 12:16:09 PM
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sorry mate you caoont change the core of the legal system to guilty until proved innocent the jails would over flow and anyone could point the finger just to cause problems for others
LASCIATE OGNE SPERANZA, VOI CH'INTRATE
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WarrenH
Homosapien
United Kingdom
2020 Posts |
Posted - 22 August 2006 : 12:19:12 PM
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Whats "caoont"?
"Ying tong, ying tong, what a miss mash of cods wallop and gungafof. Never in my life have I had the pleasure of reading a concoction of trype and onions." |
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Justin Coles
Small mammal
United Kingdom
574 Posts |
Posted - 01 September 2006 : 12:27:10 AM
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Pax Europa Party.
1. Our aim is to intergrate fully with Europe, as it was under Augustus Caesar. A modern Pax Romanus - Pax Europa! Such a prosperous and peaceful time hasn't been seen in almost 2000 years - we aim to put that right. One entity, one currency, one love...
2. Distance ourselves from the Yanks. We don't need them. Trouble makers one and all.
3. Have a European army, far cheaper to run and no need for our own nuclear deterent. Scrap trident and any other dumb nuclear missile schemes. We would spend the savings on 1st class hospitals and schools and create the best public transport system in the world, which would be free to use.
4. Paid Public holidays for all, for 4 weeks in July / August, with teachers drafted in to run essential services.
5. Invert the salary triangle. Get paid a vast amount of money when you first start work, when you need the money to start a family, buy a house etc. As you get older you get paid less, because you need less.
6. Retirement at 50, with a governemt paid for world cruise.
Audaces fortuna iuvat!
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Vote-4-ME CANDIDATE MANIFESTOs
